


Like A Country Song

by Teakany



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Cheating, Divorce, Feelings, M/M, Omegaverse, Yao is kind of a bitch, shared custody, single mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7913977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teakany/pseuds/Teakany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matthew is a single mother. He's an Omega who was left.. Ivan, his ex husband is living with his mate of two years now and the pair share custody. The biggest issue for Matthew is his unwillingness to let go...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm putting up the first chapter and we'll see how much interest it gets. I'm pretty much done writing it, but if you want more, I'll be editing and updating weekly.

The slight blonde sat under the icy spray and groaned. It had been unpleasant at first, a shock, but now it felt like the only thing keeping him from bursting into the flames of a full heat just yet. He was still fully clothed, his kids sitting and playing on the bathroom floor while he held back his cycle to the best of his ability

Ideally this would be when his mate would be watching them and caring for him while he lay in a nest… But it wasn’t an ideal situation. Matthew was a single mother. There was no mate to take care of him.

He wasn’t completely alone in this though, Ivan was still around for the kids. He took them every other weekend… and much to Matthew’s irritation, the week of every one of Matthew’s heats. 

It wasn’t that Matthew didn’t _want_ them to see their father… He did, they loved their Daddy, and he loved that Ivan loved them back just as much! It was more complicated than that…

He could hear a knock on the front door. sighing, he grabbed his phone and hanging his top half out of the shower, he dialed Ivan 

“Hello?”

“Hey Ivan…” He sighed, calls of ‘hi daddy!’ in the background. “You’ll have to come in and get them… you have the key right?” this heat had started hitting when he was asleep, by the time he woke up, this had been his only option. 

“Da, I’ll be right there” The phone clicked off and Matthew tossed his and curled his legs up to his chest. 

“You guys be good for Daddy okay?” He said gently from the shower as Aurora and Alek started getting visibly excited at the sound of the front door opening. “Come give mommy kisses” He said holding back his sadness at the lame goodbye, smiling brightly instead. 

“Kay mommy! I’ll make sure Alek is good!” Promised his sunny little four year old as she leaned in to kiss Matthew’s forehead.

Alek, who would turn three in a few months pouted “I’m good!” He exclaimed 

“Of course you are” Matthew chuckled, kissing his cheek and quickly returning to the cold spray. The bathroom door opened a second later and Matthew looked up sheepishly at Ivan, who was now covered in excited children “sorry…” he said cringing “I woke up and it was already getting started… their bags are in their bedrooms on their dressers” 

“Is fine” He said gently, picking up Alek, and hugging Aurora to his side. “You going to be able to get to your room alright?” He asked hesitantly, and obvious attempt at being polite. 

“I’ll be fine” Matthew answered smiling “I’ll call you when it’s done.” he said tightly as Ivan nodded and looked away awkwardly. It was undeniable that Matthew’s scent was beginning to fill the bathroom. After all.. the Alpha whose mark was still on his neck was right there, it was only natural. But it was still embarrassing for both parties involved.

“Right kids, let’s get your things. Yao is out in the car waiting” Matthew beat back the growl, settling for a tensed jaw he could simply blame on starting heat. 

That, that right there was the complication. Yao. He watched his kids run off excitedly saying an awkward goodbye to Ivan as they did. So excited to see Daddy's.. new mate. It was a bitter feeling. Every other weekend, and for a full week every three months, that- that- _person_ got to play house with his children. 

He didn’t like it.. especially in the fragility of his heat. His body screamed, trying to lure back the Alpha. Biologically it was wrong. Omega’s didn’t lose Alpha’s after mating… well, they did, but it was something their body fought violently. giving babies for an Alpha to protect and love, being small and vulnerable themselves to kick that instinct in and keep them around… But people also had feelings, and sometimes those trumped biology...

The split, if it had even happened otherwise, might have been more bearable… normal feeling if it hadn’t been for the circumstance of everything. Alek had only been six months old when Ivan had confessed his transgression. It had been the most painful thing Matthew could have ever heard. 

Ivan's co-worker, Yao Wang, had started his heat while at work. Ivan, being the kind man he was, had carried him into the office emergency heat room when the beta security was taking too long… except then he hadn’t come out right away. 

Matthew had felt like a ton of knives were going through him when Ivan explained he’d wound up marking him… They’d been having minor issues already in their relationship, but they’d been working through them. High school sweethearts who got married the moment Matthew turned eighteen. He was only twenty-two when he was signing divorce papers, all done with a baby on his hip, and a toddler in her father’s arms. 

To his continued heartache, after the hurried decision to split, Ivan had chosen to date the homewrecker, moving into his apartment right off the bat, and upgrading to a two bedroom so he could still have visitation. 

Matthew wasn’t a spiteful person, he was sweet and genuinely cared about people. So naturally he’d agreed to visitation right away when Ivan had asked. He trusted that his ex-husband loved their kids and would continue to be there for them… but It didn’t stop it from killing him inside. 

The first time he’d seen Yao out around with his children, he’d just been out running errands, Alek was still only eleven months old, sitting on the other Omega’s hip while he kissed Ivan… Matthew had turned around, gone home and locked himself in his room to cry. someone had just stepped in and stolen his life and he was left alone… How was it fair that he was the one who’d been wronged, and Ivan and Yao got to be happy together? 

At least when he had the kids with him he could be happily distracted. Caring for two babies on top of working was pretty time consuming. Yao had offered to watch them during the day while Matthew worked. Obviously that had been shot down quickly. Matthew claimed he’d rather have the kids in socializing with other children so school wouldn’t be a shock, but thanked him for the offer. things had been even more tense between them since then. 

“Bye mommy!” “I love you mommy bye bye!” Came the called as the front door opened followed by “Make sure you bolt this behind us Matvey” 

Matthew swallowed back an ache that clung to the mildest form of care in his vulnerable state and called back “I love you both too, and I’ll make sure to lock it, Have fun!” He heard the door shut and felt tears well in his eyes as his whole life walked out the door. 

Eventually he got up, sighing as he walked to the door, sliding the bolt in place before heading to his room to make his nest and ride out the week alone. 

Finally, six days rolled around, and thankfully Matthew’s heat tapered. He was almost in tears of relief when he woke up cold that morning. He took a quick shower, washing away the filth of his week and stuffing his nest in the oversize washing machine before calling Ivan. 

“Will you- hold on Matvey- stop pulling your sister's hair! is not nice Alek!” Matthew raised an eyebrow. “S-sorry… caught me breaking up a fight.” He said with an uneasy chuckle. 

“It’s fine. I’m done, you can bring them back now” He said quietly, standing at his dresser, drawing little circles on the top of it with his finger. 

“Alright, we’re just about to eat lunch, so I’ll bring them over right after. does that work?” 

“Yeah, sounds good... “ He paused before continuing quietly “Tell them I say I missed them” His heat hormones still rode, adding a silent ‘and you… I miss you…’ 

“I will, we’ll see you soon” he brushed the tears away and forced a smile,

“Okay, see you soon” 

Matthew hung up the phone, frowning. Was this attachment ever going to weaken? Would he ever go through a heat without it _killing_ him to hear Ivan’s voice. 

He moved out into the living room and sat down. He almost regretted keeping the house, it made things worse.. It had been bought for them when they got married, their families pooling together to support the young couple. It was fair sized, three bedrooms, one floor… No heat room, but they’d just altered the bedroom door and window so it functioned the same. It held a lot of memories… a lot of painful ones.   
-  
 _Ivan opened the door, turning to scoop Matthew. The Omega squeaked, grabbing hold in surprise then laughed “Ivan! You carry me over the threshold the first time not every time!”_

_“but it’s to ensure no demons snatch you away, da?” He leaned down nuzzling against Matthew’s hair and whispering in his ear “I’ll carry you across every time to keep you safe” Matthew blushed, reaching to kiss him as Ivan carried him into the house._

He had stuck to his word, picking him up every time. Even if they were arguing, Ivan would scoop him up and continue the argument as they went across the threshold, placing him down and moving on with the point. 

It was cute,Right after Ivan’s confession had been the first time Matthew had pushed his hands away and walked across on his own. 

-

_“I felt him kick!” Ivan’s young eyes were opened wide, a hand on matthew’s stomach as Aurora kicked him for the first time._

_Matthew had chuckled “She’s a kicker!” He said subtly arguing the sex._

_“I bet he’s going to be a strong little guy. An Alpha, just watch” He said affectionately rubbing the bump. Matthew rolled his eyes by smiled, a hand carding through Ivan’s hair. The russian looked at him with a soft smile, leaning in to kiss him gently. “I love you and our little boy so much” He murmured_

_Matthew had smiled, cradling his face and returned it “I love you and our little girl too”_

Ivan had been set on it being a boy. he was so sure. Obviously he had been so wrong, but he’d cried happily when they placed her in his arms the first time. Daddy’s little girl from day one. 

Not all the memories were happy, and the second pregnancy had been a little less intended then the first. 

 

_“How did this happen?!” Ivan exclaimed loudly as Matthew scowled, shaking slightly._

_“Shush! you’ll wake Aurora and I just got her down!”_

_He kept arguing, but his voice was a hissed whisper “Know what else will wake her? When a baby is crying again!”_

_Matthew felt tears sting the corner of his eyes, “It’s not like I did this on purpose…” He said quietly “you could have stayed out of the heat room, or used condoms...”_

_“And where would I have slept!?”_

_“Not on top of me!” Matthew snipped, causing Ivan to look surprised at the outburst. The omega had tears running down his cheeks “If you don’t want it, just go! I’ll take care of them myself, because I’m not dealing with a third baby!” His protective streak for his children broke through “And maybe if you’d slept on the couch then, you wouldn’t be staying there tonight, cause you sure as hell aren’t sleeping in the same bed as me!” he went into their room, shutting and locking the door._

It hadn’t ended in some romantic apology, but merely three days of near silence before they just fell back into step and continued on. 

Things had gotten better and worse in waves. But it was fine… normal couples fought. Normal families had issues, and 90% of the time it was good. Matthew felt loved even when they fought… he thought Ivan had felt the same… 

Again, tears sprung to his eyes. Stupid post heat emotions. He sighed and stood, wiping his eyes and went to sit on the porch to wait. He’d feel better once he had his babies again. 

When the car pulled up, that point was proven, a wide smile breaking across his face as he jogged out to help get Alek out of the car while Ivan moved to Aurora. 

“Did you have a good time with Daddy?” Matthew asked as he undid the buckles. 

“Of course they did… what a stupid question” Yao grumbled under his breath, Matthew’s breath caught as he looked up startled. 

“Yao! don’t be rude.” Ivan snapped as Matthew numbly pulled Alek out of the car, focusing on him instead walking up to the porch as Aurora ran up, hugging him as well, Matthew finally happy.

Ivan walked up with their bags in hand and Matthew sent the children into the house with them giving Ivan a raised eyebrow in question. They’d discussed not being unfriendly in front of the children…. 

“I’m sorry… he’s in preheat.” Ivan said with a sigh “I’ll talk to him” 

Matthew nodded, still a little irritated, but understanding to a degree... “Alright… If you guys want me to keep them this weekend so you can focus on him-” 

“No need!” Yao shouted from the car “I can deal with my heat by myself thank you very much nosey!” Matthew started and stared wide eyed as Ivan cringed. Oh… he was not sticking his hand in that… 

“Uh.. well.. if something changes…” He said quieter “We can always change weekends.. it’s not a big deal…” 

Ivan nodded “Thank you Matvey, I appercite-” The car horn honked and Matthew looked at the seething Yao. 

“Uh-huh. well… good luck?” He said turning to head back into the house with a quick goodbye. 

Yao had always been a bit… rough around the edges when he was annoyed… but this was a new level.. they must have been having an argument. He pretended that thought didn’t fill him with smug happiness. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Ivan happy, it was just he couldn’t find it in himself to want them to be happy together. Not a happiness that was built on breaking apart a family.

His thoughts were happily shattered a second later as two happy children came out of their room. Matthew knelt down, hugging them both close and nuzzling his head in between. “Oh~ Mommy missed you both so much!” He exclaimed, squeezing them tighter gaining giggles. He pulled back smiling widely “so, what did you do?” 

He stood and walked to the couch, a child holding either hand as they babbled and yelled over each other about the fun they had. Matthew just sat, enjoying the noise that chased away all the quiet he’d had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the support on this story guys! i know i said weekly, but i thought Saturday would be a better day for updates! enjoy chapter two.

The four days flew by and Ivan’s weekend was upon him again. He hadn’t gotten a text about Ivan wanting to switch weekends, so he packed up the kids bag again frowning. These weekends… they were long and quiet and they drove him nuts.. a constant reminder of life that was missing from the house. 

It wasn’t just that upsetting him, if he was being honest, this particular weekend that made things that bit worse.. It was the morning of April 26th and that marked the two year anniversary of their divorce, and he was going to be alone for it. last year it had been during the week, and he ignored the day, crying through the night, painfully curled in a ball knowing Ivan probably didn’t care, but if he did, at least he wasn’t alone for it. 

But there was no use crying over it right now! He’d have plenty of time for that when the kids were dropped off. He took a deep breath and put on a smile for his children, a backpack in each hand “Alright guys! let's go, we don’t wanna keep Daddy waiting!” 

usually, unless it was too close around Matthew’s heat, the pair met at a park to trade. It gave a more positive transition, demonstrating to the kids that Mommy and Daddy could still get along and have fun. The kids were strapped in, and the three were on their way in no time. When Matthew pulled up to their usual corner of the lot, Ivan was already there, leaning against the car, no Yao in sight. He was probably in the heat room. Matthew was secretly pleased. Ivan wouldn’t go in for… relief work… while the kids were there, and it would be a weekend without Yao. After the run-in in the car, he wasn’t about to be sad over that! 

Ivan came over smiling very gently “Hello Matvy”, Matthew gave his best smile through a tightening throat and nodded in greeting. He opened Aurora’s door getting her out as Ivan opened Alek’s. The pair each grabbed a bag Ivan taking them both to his car while Matthew walked the kids to the park, letting them run off to play once their feet hit grass. 

He sat on the bench, Ivan sitting as far from him on it as possible. Matthew cleared his throat through the awkward “Alek had a bit of a cough this morning, so, you may want to use the humidifier just in case. Aurora is off cheese this week too” He provided, 

Ivan nodded “Thank you… are you okay-” 

Matthew stood, “You know, I actually should just say my byes to them now, I have some errands I have to run” He cut across tensely, moving to the structure without letting Ivan get another word in. He didn’t need to listen to it. Not today.. not the oh poor Matthew, are you going to be okay, bit. Poor Matthew, the Omega who’s still alone, the one who got his heart stomped on, who has to raise two kids… It made him mad… Ivan didn’t care about that when he gave into Yao or the week afterwards when Matthew had suggested trying to work through it, so he didn’t get to pretend he cared now. 

“I love you guys, be good okay, I’ll see you Sunday after dinner” Matthew gave them each a kiss on the head, and turned directly to the car cursing. He could feel tears.

“Matvey!” Ivan called weakly, but Matthew kept going, getting in his car and driving the hell away. 

He pulled over a block away to sit and try and gather himself enough to make it home. He was aiming just to get home, crawl into his bed and sob into his pillow… until he actually got there and he sighed. Alfred’s car was in the driveway. Trust his brother. 

Matthew pulled up, wiping his eyes and checking in the mirror with a cringe at the redness as his twin jogged out from his spot on the porch. Matthew sighed and opened the door “Hey Alfie” He said quietly

“Yo bro!” he said cheerfully, then apparently caught sight of Matthew’s state and his smile drop “Are you okay? did he say something stupid? I’ll kick his ass for you!” 

“I’m fine… he didn’t say anything” Matthew reassured, walking towards the door with the puppy of an Alpha on his heels 

“He said NOTHING? Jackass…” Alfred grumbled the last word and Matthew rolled his eyes. Alfred had never particularly liked Ivan in the first place, and once he stepped out, Alfred’s attitude towards him soured further

“Why are you here Alfred?” Matthew asked with a sigh as he opened the door, tossing his keys to the side. 

“To keep you from hiding in your room all weekend.” Matthew turned, attempting to look confused and earning a raised eyebrow “ I’m not dumb Mattie, I know what day it is.” 

Matthew’s eyes dropped and he turned, “I’ll be fine Al” 

“You will! Because we’re kidnapping you!” Alfred said cheerily

Matthew turned and narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean ‘we’?”

 

An hour later, Matthew was showered, hair styled and he was stuffed into what Alfred deemed a “hot mama” outfit. that’s what he walked into the Karaoke place in, He wasn’t entirely sure why he needed to look hot for private room karaoke until he got into the room and his eyes widened. 

“How many people did you tell Alfred!” He hissed tugging his brother back and glaring at the decorations. Alfred had rented the biggest room, and it was close to full.. He pretty much knew them all, a few new faces… but besides Kiku and Alfred who were a couple, everyone was either single, or there without their mates. 

“Just a few people, come on! it’ll be fun! we have a whole list of songs pre-approved for the night and everything~” He teased dragging the blushing Omega into the room. 

Matthew was hauled and forced to sit directly beside Gilbert, a red eyed Alpha they’d known for a while. Alfred went over to Kiku, the small Omega giving him an apologetic smile as he handed Alfred a small file folder. Alfred kissed the top of his head and jogged back to the centre of the room, “Okay dudes!” He said smiling “This is our song list for tonight! no going off of it, No gooey mushy couple songs, No saying the D word and everyone drink and eat up, it’s on me!” 

Matthew cringed. Alfred could afford it, He was a professional American football star. He’d offered to help Matthew out with money so he didn’t have to work over and over, but Matthew had kept turning it down. He didn’t want to just sit home while Alfred took care of him, making him feel like a charity case… It had taken Alfred months of badgering and insisting before he even let the Alpha pay for the kids pre-school so Matthew could work a little less. Regardless, it still irked him a bit when his brother was so free about it, and this was even worse. 

copies of the list were handed around and Matthew shared one with his albino neighbour. “Really Al?” He grumbled as his finger slid over the songs. 

cheater cheater- Joey and Rory  
Final warning- skylar grey  
Miss missing you- fall out boy  
Kiss this- aaron tippin  
I hope it rains, Kerosene, wasting all these tears, better things to do! dear lord! all angry break up, or empowerment songs. the only sad one he could find was ‘love your memory’ by miranda lambert. 

He was just rolling his eyes when suddenly Alfred launched onto the stage. clicking a song as the beat started, Alfred turned his back to the room, looked over his shoulder with a smirk, and started belting out ‘Red high heels’ by kellie pickler. Matthew had to admit, watching the big Alpha singing it had him fighting back laughter until he snorted and broke. earning a wink from the performer. 

It was then Matthew decided to just relax and enjoy it. Alfred may have been a moron who had a few too many hits to the head, but he was sweet at the same time, and totally willing to make a fool outta himself to cheer people up. How could Matthew be mad at that?

A few drink, and more than a few songs in, Matthew got up, singing a song off the list to start. Better than revenge by taylor swift was a good fit for Yao he felt. He was grumpy so often, and Matthew had always suspected the slight Omega had done it on purpose. Stolen Ivan with intent… that and Yao and cow rhymed so well… It felt kinda good to get the anger out any way. 

By the end of the night he’d taken the mic several times, but it wasn’t until he’d lead everyone through an off list, almost eight minute long run of ‘end of an era’ by mariana’s trench that Alfred firmly, but kindly suggested it was time to go home. 

Kiku, who hadn’t drank a drop, drove them back to his and Alfred’s place while Alfred sat in the back for Matthew to curl against, allowing him to have the cry he needed. The Omega was tucked in his brother’s arms as he was taken up the steps of the large home and after a quick goodnight to his angel of a mate, Alfred had laid Matthew down, Laying next to him in the bed like he knew he needed. Matthew clung to his brother and sobbed, letting himself feel what he was feeling, the alcohol letting him rely on people to help him through it. once more, he appreciated his brother. 

When the morning came Matthew groaned opening his eyes a crack. The blind was closed, but he could see light filtering in around it. ugh… day… 

He pulled himself out of the bed in search of coffee… He was going to need it. Last night was still fuzzy, but he knew he couldn’t have done anything too bad with Alfred there. He vaguely remembered sitting on Tim’s lap, which was embarrassing, but he was a nice enough guy to know it was alcohol related. All of them were really… he had nothing to worry about

Matthew emerged down the stairs sheepishly, Kiku sitting on the couch reading, Alfred in the corner on his treadmill “Morning” Matthew said quietly. 

Kiku smiled at him and went to return the sentiment but Alfred cut in. “Afternoon! Did’ya sleep good?” He asked brightly, pressing a button to slow the machine and jump off. 

“Y-Yes… thank you” He was red. Alfred’s goal had been to get him drunk, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t kind of embarrassed. 

“Good! I’ll go get you your coffee, have a seat” He said happily as he bounced off, leaving Matthew to sit almost sheepishly across from Kiku. 

“Thank you for uh… having me over and everything” Matthew said with a small smile. The raven haired Omega returned it 

“It’s no Problem Matthew. I am sorry if Alfred got carried away… I held him off the Alpha strippers.” He said looking bright red, a colour Matthew echoed. 

“You have my eternal gratefulness for that…” he murmured, covering his face. The thought of knots hanging in his face wasn’t appealing...

 

The afternoon with Alfred passed quickly, Matthew ducked out around three, pleading the need for groceries and beating off offers to take him. Kiku dropped him off at home and his car and Matthew went straight to the store, picking up provisions for the week. It was one up side of having the kids go to their fathers on the weekend, kidless shopping. 

That being finished landed him at home, putting things away. He was considering what to make for dinner when there was a knock on his door. He sighed and put the milk back in the fridge “Coming” He called before opening the door and blinking in confusion. 

“Mommy!”   
“Mama!”

Matthew smiled, though still maintaining his confusion as he was suddenly hugged by his children, “Hey guys what are you doing here?” He looked up at Ivan who looked grave, standing with back packs in hand. “Is everything okay?- Kids, take your bags from daddy and put them in your room okay? I’ll be in in a moment” They did as they were told and Matthew stepped outside, closing the door raising an eyebrow in question. 

Ivan sighed “I’m sorry I know it’s my weekend, but uh-” He looked down fidgeting with his scarf, which was never a good sign. “Yao finished his heat early and said somethings I don’t approve of. So, I felt they’d be better here while I deal with it.” 

Matthew frowned, “What kind of things?” He asked, wondering if he was going to have to deal with questions. 

“Just some adult words and discussions about aspects of our relationship the children didn’t really need to listen to.” He said in a tone that suggested that was all Matthew was getting. The Omega heaved a sigh 

“Alright well… thank you for bringing them back… I know it had to be hard to give up a night… Maybe you could take them to lunch and the park or something next weekend.” Matthew offered. 

Ivan gave a small smile and nodded “Thank you Matvey, that would be good” Matthew returned the small smile and turned 

“Well, I better get in, did you feed them? Or do they need dinner?” he asked hand on the knob

“I fed them, they should be pretty tired out too” He said also turning to head down the steps. “I’ll see you next weekend” 

Matthew nodded and turned inside. He leaned against the door and breathed out a sigh, an ache in his chest, but it was soon clouded over by two excited smiling faces. “Mommy! Daddy took us to the zoo-”  
“And the park!”  
“And for lunch,”  
“And dinner!” 

“Oh wow, really?” Matthew asked, smiling and taking their hands, moving to the couch to sit with them, listening all about their day. They’d been out of the house since just after breakfast. They both had ice cream, twice, and Ivan had bought them a toy each at the zoo. He’d done a good job of covering up the bad, though at bedtime Aurora informed him Alek had been crying, and she had felt a little scared. 

It had made Matthew mad. Not at Ivan particularly, he knew him well enough. He had thought Yao knew better, but heat might have played a part. Still Yao was a grown Omega, Matthew put up with entire unassisted heats, Yao should be able to deal with two days without Ivan. The thought twisted in his gut as images popped up. He shoved them away and went to make himself dinner like he had intended in the first place 

Days passed and his irritation lessened. Work and kids kept him too busy to worry about an Omega who had a bad heat. They seemed mostly unaffected anyway. The only thing that had made Matthew concerned had been when the weekend rolled around and Matthew said they were going to go with daddy for a while. 

“But mommy, Just daddy right?” Aurora asked frowning. 

“As far as I know, yup” He hesitated for a moment before he reached over, stroking her ashen hair, “You know if there’s anything that makes you uncomfortable you can tell me and Daddy right?” He reminded with a smile. “Both of you”

Both kids nodded, but remained quiet, and Matthew let it drop. They left with just Ivan, and came back looking happy and worn out, so he didn’t push much further into it.

It was Wednesday evening and Matthew was curled up on the couch when his phone rang, Ivan asking to switch weekends. Claiming something came up and he was going to be working extra. Matthew agreed. It’s not like he’d planned anything, and he was always happy to have them. 

He didn’t really think anything more of it until that Saturday. He was sitting outside at Alfred’s house smiling as he watched the kids. They were at a big barbecue, so there were plenty of kids clamoring around, a big bouncy castle setup and everything. 

He was considering having a drink, knowing he’d probably be roped into a sleepover at uncle Al’s, when Gilbert came over and leaned on the back of his chair 

“I thought it was your weekend last weekend” He said with a frown. Matthew had turned him down for drinks stating he had the kids. 

“It was” Matthew turned and looked up at him with a smile. “Ivan had a lot of work this weekend, so next weekend I’m free.” He said with a smile and then added “and I’m still not ready to date” 

Gilbert chuckled “Can’t blame me for trying birdie” he moved to sit across from Matthew and frowned “but you know…” He leaned forward, “are you sure he’s working?” Matthew raised an eyebrow,

“Well he’s said he is, and I don’t have a reason to think he lied.” Matthew shrugged, then narrowed his eyes “why?” 

Gilbert looked around and bit his lip, “well... What’s the name, the full name, of that Omega he shacked up with?” He asked,

“Yao wang” Matthew answered and Gilbert nodded. Matthew looked confused, “Why?”

“Well,” Gilbert said with a meaningful look, speaking slowly. “Legally I can’t tell you why.” 

Matthew frowned and looked annoyed, why did he want to- it hit him “No…” 

“Yup, it’s true. Legally I'm bound to not tell you why that was the name I was looking for” He said with a sigh, taking a swig of his beer “Not a common name is it?” He added for emphasis, but Matthew understood. 

Gilbert worked as a nurse, It wasn’t a very Alpha job, but he’d never let that bug him. The office he worked at specialized in removing claim marks. It was a painful and long procedure, taking multiple visits… Matthew had never been able to bring himself to do it, but Gilbert was telling him Yao had been in there.

“So when did this legality come into effect?” Matthew asked, prying for a little more. 

“Bout a week ago,” Gilbert shrugged. He smirked and reached over grabbing a beer for Matthew and handing it over, “So, I’ll ask again, you sure he’s working?” Matthew frowned thoughtfully, opening it and drinking. Well damn.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update saturdays! *Forgets and gets busy then remembers smack dab in the middle of cards against humanity* damnit... 
> 
>  
> 
> anyway, one day late update!

Matthew had let the thought of Ivan's situation stew, staying quiet on the matter. What kinds of things would change if he and Yao had separated? how long was it going to be before he found a place? Was Matthew going to have to send the kids to stay with Alfred for his heat? ... or was there an alternative he could offer- one he'd be willing to offer. He shook his head banishing the thoughts. He wasn't even sure what was happening yet, he didn't need to get ahead of himself!

He decided in the end to wait and see, and on Thursday evening he got another call along with a push in how this was going to be... “Matvey? I’m really sorry… I can’t take them again… work just is horrible right now” He excused.

Matthew debated for a moment before speaking, “Ivan, Is everything okay? With you and Yao I mean?” He was hopeful that Ivan was keeping his honesty about the situation since it seemed for delicate. 

“Ah…” he said sighing. “You know then?” He asked. 

“All I know is you haven’t skipped a visit before, you were fighting with Yao, and…” He paused before lying in order to keep Gilbert’s, not quiet legal, poking out of it “I saw Yao heading into Gilbert's office” There was a quiet, followed by a heavy sigh

“He kicked me out a few weeks ago.” The Alpha admitted miserably. “I can’t take them because I’ve been couch surfing and I can’t exactly bring the kids to someone else's house to sleep.” 

Matthew frowned “I’m sorry” He offered, not sorry at all for the break up, but a little for the lack of kid time... He knew it had to be hard on the other 

“It’s not your fault” He said “but thanks” 

Matthew considered quietly for a moment. Maybe this was a bad idea, or a selfish one… either way it was a set up to get hurt but… “Do you want to stay here?” He asked in a small voice “For your weekends” he clarified. “I have a couch and the kids missed you last weekend… I don’t want to tell them you’re not coming again..” 

There was more quiet and Matthew cringed waiting for the rejection, instead Ivan asked seriously, but a hopeful sound in his voice,“Are you sure?” 

Matthew sighed “I’ll be fine. I have people bugging me for my time anyway, so you’ll barely even know I’m there” He answered, mentally coming up with things he could do… mostly it came down to bugging Alfred. 

“Alright then” Ivan said, and Matthew could hear the pick up in mood in his voice “Thank you Matvey” 

“It’s not problem. We’ll see you tomorrow” They said their goodbyes and Matthew went to bed with his nerves thrumming still.  
-

“Daddy! It’s Daddy!” Came the calling as the knock came at the door. Matthew looked up from the colouring book pages they’d been pouring over adjusting his hair and clothing as he stood. He looked okay right? His jeans fit properly, his shirt was casual, but not ratty. Basically not what he would look like at all on a lazy friday afternoon where he didn’t see Ivan. 

He opened the door with a smile “Hey Ivan, come on in” 

Ivan returned the smile “Thank you” He said, stepping into what use to be his own house. He had a large bag in hand, Matthew recognized it as the same one he’d taken with him when he left. He was only two steps in when it dropped, kids clinging to him tightly, He chuckled and picked them both up, 

Matthew felt a warmth and an ache in his chest at the image. It should be a picture on his wall. His mark pulsed and he turned from it, “Well” He said clearing his throat “You still know where everything is?” He asked. “I have a casserole in the fridge you can heat up for you guys for dinner.“ He continued, grabbing his bag and tossing it over his shoulder. 

“You’re not staying for dinner?” Matthew turned to see a disappointed frown that made his eyes flutter and his face flush. 

“I have plans with Alfred, and I’m late” He said quickly. “I’ll be back by bedtime, eight o’clock” 

Ivan looked confused, but Matthew brushed past, kissing the children’s cheeks and giving brief I love you’s before breezing out of the door in a hurry. 

-

“He’s staying at your house” Alfred dead panned. 

“Yes” Matthew answered simply, sipping his tea. He rolled his eyes at the looked Alfred gave him “It’s only on his weekends with the kids until he finds a place. The kids missed him” Alfred narrowed his eyes. “For god’s sake Alfred!” He exclaimed. “What do you think is going to happen? He’s there with the kids, I’m here. I’ll go home to sleep, maybe I’ll get drinks with Gil tomorrow night” 

Alfred perked at that “Really?” Matthew was regretting that already 

“Maybe! I’m still not ready to date Alfred… besides I’m still marked-”

“I told you, any time you’re ready and I will pay to get it off-”

“The point is I’m _not_ ready” Matthew countered, causing Alfred to pout. 

“Why?” Matthew blinked, looking at kiku as the other Omega looked on in innocent curiosity, tilting his head.

“I’m sorry?” Matthew tilted his head in mirror,

“Why aren’t you ready?” He clarified, “It’s been two years, he’s had a new mate… “ Kiku said with a shrug, Alfred looking on intently. 

“I don’t know… I just don’t feel ready.” he said staring into his cup, “It’s not like I let him mark me thoughtlessly, it meant something.” He frowned for a moment before hardening a bit, “Besides, I’m not ready to date and it’s a deterrent.” 

Alfred sighed, “Mattie…”

“One date” It was Kiku again, and Matthew was shocked again, “You can’t know you aren’t ready if you don’t try” He pushed gently, “We’ll inform gilbert it’s testing the waters to see how ready or unready you are so he doesn’t get invested, who know’s that might make him back off after.” 

Matthew frowned, staring at the other Omega’s determination. “Alright.” He agreed. 

Kiku stood, “I’ll go set it up” He said with a soft smile. Matthew felt like he’d been tricked somehow. 

When Matthew got home, he had a date set for the next night, dinner and a movie. It felt weird to even think about as he got back in the house, two small children with wet hair in Pajama’s running to him, 

“Mommy!”  
“We missed you~!” 

Matthew smiled down on the small children, kneeling down, “I missed you too, did you behave for Daddy?” he questioned, earning nods. Ivan came around the corner and matthew had to swallow back his reaction,

“Where did you two disappear to-?” He was wandering around with wet bits of hair in his face, jeans obviously splashed and a soggy wet shirt in his hand instead of on him. He’d paused, eyes wide, face pink. “S-Sorry, they splashed around a bit and uh… my bag was out here… ” He pointed to the couch, “Welcome home” He added, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, Matthew enthralled in the way the muscles moved, 

“Yeah, that’s fine” He said quietly, face burning “I’ll just put these two down,” tearing his eyes away from the other’s chest he stood and took the children’s hands moving towards their bedroom. He worked on calming his hormones as he tucked them in with kisses and a story. 

God, Alfred was right, this had been a bad idea. Such a bad idea! He couldn't stop internally drooling, noting Ivan had definitely not let himself go... he still had the young strong Alpha build in that incredibly large body that had always felt so safe and warm... not to mention good when things- He cut himself off standing and turning off the light and shut the door, turning back towards the living room and ran right into Ivan. “S-Sorry!” he exclaimed, quickly taking a step back as he got his footing. 

“It was my fault, i was just going to say goodnight to them” Matthew nodded and stepped out of the way 

“I just turned out the light, but they aren’t out yet” he said moving towards the living room then through to the kitchen heading straight to the sink to splash cold water on his face. He needed to pull it together!

He was drying himself off when Ivan came back out, clothed now and smiling awkwardly. Matthew returned the look and they both sat in silent discomfort until Ivan broke it, “Did you have a good time?” 

“Yeah, just had dinner… it was nice” Ivan nodded, and Matthew blurted out the next part “I’m going out tomorrow.” He looked at the wall beside him, arms crossed over his chest and face red. “W-With Gilbert… on a date.” 

“Oh…” He glanced and just caught an edge of hurt on Ivan's face before it was buried. “How long has-”

“It’s a first date..” He cut in. He was slightly annoyed at the look he’d seen. Ivan wasn’t allowed to be hurt by that. He was the one who’d wrecked things, his irritation lightly coloured his next words “He’s been asking for a year now, So obviously he’s dedicated” Ivan fliched just slightly and nodded. 

“Well, I hope you two have fun” He said with an unconvincing smile, 

“Thank you” Matthew replied, eyes glued to the floor. For some reason, he felt even more upset at Ivan’s support. Finally he reached the conclusion that anything said would just upset him more. He turned to the hall, “I’m going to bed…” 

“Wait-” Matthew turned, maybe a little too eagerly, “It’s only eight… Do you want to watch a movie or something?” He offered. That’s when it hit him. Ivan was use to having Yao there once the kids were tucked in. He’d never been alone. He went from his parents, to Matthew, to Yao then couch surfing with buddies. The thought made Matthew further irritated. 

“No thanks. I’m tired. I might go shopping with Al tomorrow for my date. You know how he gets” He said with an apologetic smile, turning away again. He wasn’t about to be a substitute. No, he had more self respect! … and less ability to survive that emotional blow… 

The next morning was quiet. They all ate breakfast, the two adults being polite, but awkward. The situation was only made worse by the appearance of uncle Alfred… 

“Mattie! I’m here to take you shopping!” He said excitedly coming through the door without knocking. Nothing less than Matthew expected honestly. Matthew had made the mistake of actually planning that trip with his brother just to get away. “Hey kids!” he exclaimed, the kids bounced up, laughing and jumped on their Alpha uncle. Both easily being lifted up. “How’s it goin’ you having a good morning?” he asked, completely ignoring Ivan, not even looking at him in the most obvious way. 

The kids started to chatter excitidly, so Matthew stood up, quietly going to gather the dishes. Ivan stood as well and put a hand on his forearm “Don’t worry about that Matvey, go have fun, I can clean, it’s the least I can do” 

“It’s fine Ivan I-”

“Come on Mattie, like he said, least he can do” Alfred said cheerfully, putting the kids down with kisses to their foreheads. “You two will behave today right? I’ll buy you something really cool to make up for the fact that you’re not comin'” 

“Okay Uncle Al! Can I have a doll?” Aurora said with big pleading eyes

“Rora…” Matthew cautioned, Alfred waving it away

“Yup! I’ll find a pretty one that looks like you, and Alec, maybe a cool car?” at least this time he hadn’t said puppy… Matthew didn’t have time for a pet. 

“Okay okay, let’s go’ Matthew sighed as Alek nodded, knowing the shopping list would only grow the longer they stayed. “Behave for Daddy guys!”

“They always do, enjoy your time out Matthew” Ivan said with an unconvincing smile. 

“Of course he will, Gilly knows how to treat an Omega! Now let's go make ya look like a million bucks!” Matthew shot a look, but was dragged out of the house after a brief set of kisses from his kids. 

“Was that necessary Alfred?” Matthew asked as they pulled away, headed towards the mall.”He knows I’m going on a date, do you have to rub it in?”

“Rub what in? If it makes him uncomfortable then good Mattie. He hurt my little brother and was in the wrong. You aren’t, if he gets hurt it’s his own fault and he deserves it.”

Matthew sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere with this right now. 

-

“it's a little tight Al…” Matthew said turning in the outfit his brother had picked. 

“it's a date Mattie. Don't you wanna look hot for Gil? “ Alfred asked, scrutinizing the outfit

That made Matthew more uncomfortable. .. “Gilbert seems to like me fine in normal fitting clothes“

“and he'll be eating out of your palm in these ones! “ he insisted. Matthew sighed, picking and adjusting the cloth. 

“Just. .. it's a bit too much. Tone it down a little “ he pleaded earning a sigh, but a nod

In the end Matthew wound up with a new outfit, hair cut, perfume (to cover ivan's lingering claim scent) and a mani-pedi. 

“he's not even going to recognize me. “ Matthew murmured, looking down at himself

“he will. He'll be floored too.” Alfred assured as they pulled into his drive. “how did you leave your ID at home anyway? “

“you told me I wasn't allowed to bring my wallet” Matthew defended “I'll be quick. Say goodnight to the kids drop off their toys and be back out!” he said getting out with a few bags. 

Matthew darted in the door “kids! Uncle Al sent you things!” he heard excited squeaks from the kitchen. The squeal of chairs and feet thumping. All with a heavy sigh from Ivan. 

Matthew handed the bags over and looked sheepish as he saw Ivan, pulling the promised doll out for Aruora and handing her the bag full of clothing and accessories, “sorry… I know I should distrub them during dinner, but I'm in a rush” he stood up tucking hair behind his ear “ I left my ID and I’m gonna be late” Ivan stood there, not looking annoyed, but dumbstruck. Matthew pretended not to notice

“I'm not sure what time I'll be home. “ he said grabbing his wallet and stuffing it on the too tight pants “but you guys be good for Daddy” he added. 

“you look nice” Ivan finally managed. Using his words like a big boy. 

“thanks. Al dragged me everywhere. Make yourself at home.” he added turning for the door after kisses, leaving excited kids to open gifts. 

“So how was the test run?” Alfred asked with a raised eyebrow when he got back to the car, pulling out so he could drive to drop Matthew off. 

“What do you mean?” Matthew asked, tilting his head a little too innocently

“Uh-huh. Playing dumb is MY thing, but I’ll leave it.” Alfred said rolling his eyes

Matthew fought back a small smile, ignoring the nerves for the moment in favour of relishing in the look he'd received. The test run went well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a shorter chapter, and I finished off chapter 6 and half of chapter 7, so here! chapter four like a day or two early to make up for being late with the last one!

Matthew was nervous as Alfred pulled away, leaving him in front of a restaurant not looking exactly like himself. He clung to the new bag that was slung across his body and tried not to think of how much money he was wearing right now as he turned and walked into the restaurant. He went straight to the hostess, not really taking in the upscale atmosphere, fearing it would make him even more nervous then he already was... “B-Belischmit? For two..” he stuttered out and was taken there. 

Gilbert was already sitting at the table, fiddling with the tie he was wearing. He cleaned up good. However, he did do a double take on Matthew, apparently not believing it was him at first glance. Take that Alfred, he didn’t recognize him for a second. It still counted. “Hi Gil” Matthew said quietly, lifting his bag over his head and moving to sit as the Beta server pulled out his chair. 

Gilbert's mouth took a second to return to functioning, left just opening with a slack jaw. “Hey Birdie. You look great” He said finally, still openly staring. 

“Al took me shopping” He said with a small half smile, he could feel his own hands shaking and hid them under the table

“You guys have good taste” He said nodding. 

Matthew chuckled, "thanks" a little uncomfortable, but still the date went on. 

Matthew had been nervous. Very nervous. So nervous in fact that he made a few poor decisions. The biggest being when he tried to drown those nerves in entirely too much wine. Luckily he wasn’t too embarrassing. No standing on the tables, or random karaoke, but he was very much in need of Gilbert to get him home safely before the movie even began. 

“I’m Sorry…” He started after he was poured into the others car hiccuping “I’m not good at dating… or drinking….” He confessed, tongue looser from the drink.

“It’s okay Birdie, I understand” The albino said gently making sure he was buckled in and shutting the door. When he got back in his side he offered a sad smile “Alfred told me he wasn’t sure how you’d handle tonight. So I was pre-warned.” Matthew nodded and sighed,

“I don’t think I’m ready for dating… now I have to go back home and he’s there. No he’s gonna see me drunk” Matthew whined, curling on the front seat and covering his reddened face

“Do you want me to bring you to your brothers house instead”

“No! Then he’ll think I-” Matthew squeaked. It shouldn’t matter what Ivan thought, but god he still didn’t want that! How did you even explain that?! 'hey you didn't ask or anything but i totally didn't sleep with him... ya know.. in case you were curious' 

Gilbert sighed, unaware of his inner conversation, “Alright Mattie..” 

for the rest of the ride Matthew sat in quiet guilt. It’s not like he’d asked for this date. How many times had he said he wasn’t ready? It wasn't like he didn't enjoy his company, and maybe it was just a bump because it was a first date, but he still felt bad if it hurt Gilbert’s feelings. So, by the time they got home he was crying 

“I’m s-s-so s-sorry Gilly” He sobbed “Y-You’re so nice and if I could be b-better-er” He stuttered. 

“No no Birdie, don’t cry it’s okay” Gilbert panicked a little. The other trying to comfort him and not touch him all at once.

Matthew turned, hugging him still crying hideously, “Are y-you mad at m-me?” 

Gilbert's face went red, hands lightly rubbing his back. “N-No, of course not! I.. I’m not mad at all I understand. You’re still marked right? It-It’s harder then” he explained. Matthew nodding. 

“If i got rid of it would it be easier?” He asked in a small voice. 

Gilbert paused before answering calmly “most Omega’s say it is. “ He confessed “Some don’t”

Matthew sniffed and nodded “Can you help me to the house?” 

“Of course!” Gilbert peeled Matthew off, darting around the car and helped the inebriated Omega towards the door, but as soon as Matthew got to the stairs he sat “Come on Matt, not much farther…” 

“I don’t wanna walk anymore… Not until it’s gone”

“What’s gone?” 

“I don’t know… “ Matthew started to cry again

“Birdie… aw come on…” 

Then the door opened “Matvey?” When Matthew turned his head, sniffling with tears on his face and he saw Ivan standing there, suddenly looking angrily at Gilbert “What did you do?” He growled

“I didn’t do anything!” Gilbert insisted “He drank too much and I brought him home. “ Matthew closed his eyes, leaning against the porch post and listened

“I do not buy it! What did you say!” 

“He’s not upset over me dummkopf, he’s upset over you!” 

“Why would he be upset over me?!” Ivan threw back, 

“Because he still has your mark and he can’t even have a fun night out!” 

“Your inability-” Matthew squeaked weakly as he was suddenly scooped up into strong delicious smelling arms,he opened his eyes to the stern look on Ivan's face. So angry, yet his hands were so gentle... “-to show him a good time is not the fault of my mark. “

“ I could carry him!” Gilbert argued, taking a step up.

“And risk our children seeing a strange man carrying their mother?” 

“I’m not strange, they know me” 

“Just go home!” Ivan growled

Matthew could smell the aggression and finally had enough “Please just stop posturing… I want my bed… I’m s-sorry Gilly…” the grip on him got a little tighter but he continued “Maybe we can try again some -hic- time. Goodnight” And with that finally slurred word, he curled in the arms, drifting to sleep as he was carried over the threshold. 

-

 

The next morning Matthew woke to a pounding head and fuzzy recall of the night before. “Oh god…” He groaned, rolling onto his stomach and stuffing his face in the pillow with a dry sob of embarrassment. The date had been a disaster… getting home had been worse and on the front steps? The kids had been asleep right? He hoped he’d at least not gotten drunk until after they were in bed. 

“Shhhh kids, Mama is sleeping da?” He could hear Ivan hushing from the living room where there was giggling. No Mama isn’t Matthew thought, dragging himself up. He was still in his clothing from last night thankfully, so Ivan hadn’t stripped him at least. He stripped out of the clothing and into a pair of sweats and a shirt. He wasn’t trying to impress a soul today. 

He walked sheepishly into the living room “Hey babies” he said with a smile, cringing at the bright and chipper good morning mommy’s he got. 

“Would you like some aspirin?” Ivan asked,

“Yes please” Matthew nodded quietly, unable to look the other in the eye. He sat at the kitchen table and was handed a cup of coffee and the pills. “Thank you” 

“Is no problem” Ivan answered gently. 

Matthew took them and sat staring into his mug. Last night was a disaster, but it opened questions…. So many… 

“Did you want me to stay for the day? Or would you like me to leave earlier?” Ivan asked, interrupting his inner debating

“Huh?” He looked up, meeting the others eyes finally and pinkening as it clicked, “Oh. uh.. If you want to stay you’re welcomed to. I can make dinner for everyone.” He offered feeling bad Ivan had to care for him when it wasn’t his job. 

“Alright, I’ll be staying with a friend close by this week, in case you need me” He said “I’m happy to watch them” 

“I don’t think I’ll need it” He said clarifying for himself at least that last nights drinking was a one off “But thank you.” 

After an awkward day, and a final meal and bedtime routine for the weekend, Ivan was at the door bag in hand once more. It was a stinging sight. bringing up too much for Matthew to want to process... “Have a good couple of weeks and I’ll see you next time.” Matthew said with a smile

“Yes, I will, and thank you for allowing me to come and see them, I look forward to next time.” Matthew nodded and was about to close the door when Ivan spoke again, he smiled, but Matthew couldn't miss the sad undertone, “And uh… I...I hope you can be happy, Matvey… I really do”


	5. Chapter 5

The next month went as expected. Ivan came every other weekend taking up the living room, Matthew went on a few more less than thrilling dates, minus the drunkenness, and There was a tenseness each and every time he came home from Ivan… 

Honestly it wasn’t as if the dates were going anywhere… Matthew still couldn’t get around it in his brain. He still had the claim mark and he was faced with the claimer every other weekend. It was frustrating when he couldn’t hold hands, or kiss Gilbert on the cheek or do something to TRY and like him more… He couldn’t even tell if it was all the mark or if he just couldn’t feel that way!

It’s what landed him in his brothers living room on the fourth Ivan weekend. “I want the claim mark gone…” Matthew said quietly. He wouldn’t have bothered going to Alfred with it… but the procedure was expensive and painful. He’d need some help, even just with the kids. It didn’t seem right to ask Ivan to watch them each time he went in for a treatment…

“I’m sorry what?” Alfred asked, hopping off his treadmill and wiping off his ears as if it would help him hear better

Matthew sighed “You said you’d help if I wanted to get it removed right?” He asked, pinkening. “Obviously I can’t even try and date anyone while it’s on.. “

“Gilbert said you guys were takin' it slow… have you told him about this yet?” Alfred asked excitedly “I mean yeah obviously i’m gonna pay for it all and you can bring the kids over on the days you need extra help.” 

“I haven’t but I mean… I’ll kind of have to… or at least he’ll know.” he said blushing. “I did some research and t-the fastest I can have it off is three weeks if I do two treatments a week.” 

“But won’t that be like… super painful?” Alfred asked worriedly. 

“Yeah… but I think if I give myself too much time…” Matthew frowned. He could feel the upset rising already, making it hard to speak. “I just want a chance to know how I feel!” he forced out before sobbing. 

Alfred was at his side in a second, wrapping him in a hug “Aw bud...don’t cry, We’ll make it better okay. We’ll call and make the appointments and everything. It’s off season so I can drive you too okay? We'll do it as fast or as slow as you want. promise.” 

Matthew nodded against his shoulder feeling a sinking feeling in his stomach at the choice, but he couldn’t pull out now. 

-

With the normal backup of appointments it took another few weeks for Matthew to get in over which he felt even more awkward around Ivan… but he hadn’t even been able to tell Gilbert, not to say he didn’t find out...

They met up for lunch in the middle of work, both working in the same strip mall had its perks (or downsides, depending on how he looked at it). Matthew ordered his food and Gilbert appeared a few minutes later to order his and sit down. “Hey Birdie” He said with a kind smile 

“Hey Gilbert, how’s work today?” Matthew asked. He almost wanted to sigh. Gilbert was comfortable… now if only he could get past this so he could see if there was more. 

“It was good, though weird thing though… I think your brother booked you in for an appointment for a consult Wednesday afternoon” He chuckled with a raised eyebrow “I mean usually he meddles, but that feels a little far right?”

Matthew laughed nervously. He’d been unable to find a way to bring it up in conversation, not even sure if he should. “Yeah, that would be a bit too far with Al… but uhm… I made the appointment.” he said looking down at his sandwich, suddenly very interested in the bread to filling ratio

Gilbert froze mid bite of his sub as the information dawned on him. He chewed quickly and swallowed too quickly to possibly be comfortable. “R-Really?” He asked placing the sandwich down

“Yeah” Matthew said with a blush “I mean… it’s been two years right?” He offered taking a bite of his own food so he didn’t have to speak more

“Yeah I guess so.” He smiled “If it’s what you want Birdie I’m happy for you” 

Matthew smiled and nodded, though he was fairly sure with how animated and gleeful Gilbert was through the rest of lunch, he was pretty happy for himself too. 

-

“Thanks for watching them Ivan” Matthew said, putting his bag over his shoulder as he rushed around “Kiku was going to, but he’s not feeling good and Al has a commercial thing. I’m sorry to interrupt your week”

“Is no problem Matthew. I can take them whenever I am not working. And is for a doctor’s appointment right? “ Ivan said with an easy, entirely too warm to be fair, smile. “You need to be healthy”

Matthew felt guilt stir violently as he nodded “Y-Yup. I do” Even mentally because i really want to kiss you right now and I shouldn’t want that anymore. He thought before ducking down to kiss the kids foreheads quickly instead. “Be good for Daddy, I’ll be home soon.

He said a final goodbye to Ivan and went out the door, jogging down to his car eager to get there and get it done. 

When he arrived at the office, Gilbert was behind the counter. Like that wasn’t completely awkward… He checked in and sat, waiting for his number to be called, flipping through a magazine as he did. He was reading through tips for a better nesting experience when a voice cut through the quiet,

“You!” Matthew recognized it and his head snapped up in time to see Yao, red rimmed eyes charging towards him “What the hell are you doing here?” the smaller Omega demanded of him, using his standing to sitting height advantage to try and pull dominance.

Matthew looked shocked for a minute at the display of sudden hostility, almost flinching. Then he scowled deeply and stood, imposing his own hight (not much agianst an Alpha, or even most Beta's but at least above Yao's) “I wouldn't be here at all if you weren't such a home wrecker!” He snarled, finally able to after all this time. Yao wasn’t with Ivan, he didn’t have to tread carefully any more and that flooded him with more anger than he was use to.

“Homewrecker?! I wrecked nothing!” he snapped, turning away a bit, regarding Matthew as if he wasn't a threat at all. That alone with the claim raising Matthew's irritation to new levels “Do you think I'd be stupid enough to get this done if that were the case?!"

“What the hell are you talking about?” He hissed, suddenly aware of the looks of the other patients, not wanting to start an Omega fight here in the office... unless he had to. He wondered painfully in the back of his mind who Ivan would back in that...

“As if you don’t know!" Yao yelled more, getting in his face and banishing a finger in accusation. "You’re the reason I spent every heat alone, the reason he wouldn’t be affectionate, the reason he moped, the reason he wouldn't have more kids." He threw his hands up, "He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it to poor little Matvey again” He snarled. “Well looks like now he doesn’t have to make any excuses!” the other yanked the bandage down to show off a large raw looking area where the mark use to be. Matthew was taken back and stunned, "I have reason to get mine off! He didn't love me! what the hell do you have to excuse it!" 

“Matthew- hey what’s going on?” Gilberts voice finally came through, He obviously had missed everything by being in the back... Yao yanked the bandage back up, tearfully turning away and leaving Matthew to try and sort things out with absolutely no time to do it... 

“It’s fine” He said quietly, turning to Gilbert, head still spinning but trying to get a grip. "Y-You called me?” 

Gilbert frowned looking between the door and Matthew in concern. “Yeah... the doctor will see you now…” he moved to Matthew and gently helped him into the office. “He’ll be right in, are you okay? What was all that about?” 

“I’m fine” Matthew assured “Just a run in with Yao.. “ He offered a sweet smile “But thank you Gilbert.” 

“As long as you're sure Birdie” he returned the smile, brushing Matthew's hair out of his eyes, “Good luck”

“Thanks”

Matthew was waiting in the room for five minutes or so, flipping through his phone to chase away nerves and thoughts of the... er... conversation in the lobby. He didn’t want to think about it, he’d made his choice! Gilbert deserved a chance and Matthew deserved to get away from these feelings. 

Finally the doctor came into the room, “Hello there Mr. Williams.” He said warmly, sitting at the desk and logging into the computer on it. “Should we get straight to business?”

“Yeah… yes, I uhm. I want the mark removed.“ Matthew unbuttoned his shirt and tilted his head exposing the wine coloured marking that sat above the join of his neck and shoulder,

“Alright, let's take a look” He doctor wheeled himself over to beside Matthew, fingers probing uncomfortably “How long ago was it made?”

“Almost six years.” 

“Okay, and why do you want it off? What are you hoping to gain by it being gone?”

Matthew blushed slightly “Well… I want the attachment gone. I have children with my ex and every time he’s around I feel a draw to him… I want to be able to move on” 

The doctor took pause before speaking, “Would you say it’s an attachment of duty or an emotional one?” He took a small tape measure out and started working with that

“W-Well emotional I guess? I’ve been trying to date and he’s like a wall I can’t get past.” The doctor hummed and Matthew continued “I’m sick of crying over him during heats too, they’re painful enough and I just want it to be done with. Two years seemed like long enough to suffer without anything ya know?” 

The doctor nodded and rolled back to his desk. “Yes I agree it's more than long enough, and I can take the mark away, but Matthew… It won’t turn off emotions.”

Matthew blinked “B-But Gilbert said it’s easier for Omega’s to date again when it’s gone!” 

“Well… yes…” The doctor said “A lot of omega’s find it easier… but they’re still attached with a sense of duty and dating makes them feel guilt. The ones with an emotional attachment will still have it when the mark is gone. It’s not magic, it can’t change that.” 

Matthew frowned deeply. “But… wouldn’t it let me… i don’t know, consider other options?”

“If you aren’t attracted to someone with the mark there, chances are, they just aren’t your type, or again, your emotional issues are getting in the way. “ The doctor explained apologetically. “If you decide you want the mark off still, it’s a very simple procedure and I’d be happy to do it… but perhaps take some time to consider if it would really fix anything.” Matthew nodded numbly and the doctor gave him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help to you.” He said with a sigh “I wish you luck”

-

When Matthew pulled up at home, he felt lost. He had ducked out quickly. Before Gilbert could catch him. He really needed time to think. If mark wasn’t affecting his emotions, and that meant he really still did feel for Ivan… and he really didn’t feel anything for Gilbert... right? He groaned at how simple it seemed compared to how it felt. 

Eventually he had to get out of the car, but getting inside was a bigger mess.

Ivan was sitting on the couch when he walked in, and the Alpha looked upset. The children were in their rooms playing, Matthew could hear them, but Ivan was frowning deeply, eyes red rimmed. “You were at Gilbert's office weren’t you?” He asked without even looking up, getting straight to the point. Apparently Yao hadn’t lost his number...

“Yes” Matthew said quietly. 

“It wasn’t a social call… was it?” He asked looking up. Matthew averted his gaze. He wasn’t sure how to answer, though the lack of bandages on his neck was something at least... 

“No” He opted for honesty “I haven’t decided anything” He added, not that it mattered, Ivan was already standing and moving towards the door in a hurry. Matthew closed his eyes listening to Ivan scrambling with his shoes and coat, 

“Children had dinner, tell them I had to run.” he said quickly before closing the door behind him a little harder than necessary, leaving Matthew feeling guilty. 

Could anything else go wrong?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do a bunch of re-writing on this one! I had two conflicting time points by accident @.@ but here it is! Have some feels.

He probably should have called Ivan right away, explained things, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to say to anyone anymore. Alfred had left messages asking when he should make the first appointment, Gilbert had called a few times, and Ivan was set to show up in a week for his weekend and he had no ideas for any of them... 

In the end, maybe it wasn’t fair… but the easiest to tell was first. 

“I’m sorry…” He said with a frown, Gilbert was across the table from him looking like he could probably guess why. “I thought taking the mark away would take away feelings but…” He sighed and tried from another angle “You’re such a nice guy but there just isn’t anything there…” He felt so bad…

“It’s okay Birdie…” Gilbert said with a sigh and a nod “I guess I shoulda seen it comin’, Can’t blame a guy for trying though right?” He asked with a smile and a shrug

Matthew offered a sad smile, “No, you can’t. Thank you for dealing with my trying…” 

“Of course Birdie,” he said with a grin.

 

Alfred was next, he was harder, but at least Matthew had known what to say

“But you were so sure!” He exclaimed after Matthew said he wasn’t going through with the procedure, apologizing for the money spent

“I know. I thought it was going to do more than it would. It couldn’t make me fall for Gilbert and it couldn’t make me dislike Ivan” He explained. Alfred was upset but he left it as it was assuring Matthew the offer was still there. 

 

Of course, for both of them, Matthew left out Yao’s words… he wished he could think about things without them hammering in his head. He never helped Yao through a heat? He had said no to children for Matthew’s sake? Maybe it was just an excuse from someone who didn’t want kids. They were probably together outside of heats… right?

The long and short of it was that he had to talk to Ivan.. and he was planning on doing just that on Ivan’s weekend. Wait till the kids went to bed and then sit and have an adult conversation. Nice and calm… 

Until Saturday night around ten-thirty rolled around. 

It was still Matthew’s weekend and he was getting ready for bed. It had been a long day, grocery shopping, the children’s museum, buying Alek new shoes… He had stayed up, had a glass of wine and now he was done. He probably had stayed up too late if he was being honest… but that’s when he heard the knocking

He tossed the floss he’d been using out as the heavy knocking continued. It made him nervous.. He held onto his phone, ready to call 9-1-1 when he looked through the peephole and did a double take. 

“Ivan?” he scrambled with the lock and opened the door, greeted by a tearful face and the intense smell of booze. “Ivan, what are you doing here?”

“I had to… I had to come and ask you something” He slurred a little. And loudly… Matthew debated and decided he cared less if the neighbors heard then if the kids woke up… He stepped out of the door and closed it behind him. 

“What did you need to ask?” He said pulling his house coat closer against the cool night air. 

“Please don’t take my mark away” He said smally, Matthew frowned deeper. 

“Ivan… I-”

“No wait! I gotta.. I didn’t sleep with him… well.. Twice.. I did twice!” Ivan confessed holding up three fingers. Oh god he was so smashed..

“In two years, twice? Okay sure…” Matthew sighed “Let’s just get you inside and laid down-”

“No! I mean it! I.. I didn’t… I couldn’t.. I wanted… I wanted to come home… but I couldn’t, i didn’t- I don’t deserve to… but you need to know I didn’t -hic- touch him cep those two times.” Ivan said taking a step back and leaning on the porch railing. Matthew was stunned, but it lined up with why Yao was so angry… Ivan continued,

“ He was right to leave me too… He spent-all his heats alone… every heat you went through I was insufferable. It took everything i had not to charge back here and take you again. My Omega, MINE.” Matthew looked alarmed, but there was a rush that made him shudder. He had to fight the urge to give in to the drunken speech. 

“Ivan…” He attempted, voice shaking, fighting the lump in his throat for words, but the large Alpha has even more to say apparently. Matthew was sure the neighbors were loving this.. Especially as Ivan was suddenly moving. Embarrassingly for Matthew, the other wound up on his knees, hugging around Matthew’s waist and practically sobbing against his stomach,

“I was always so scared Matvey… waiting for the mark to go away. It would of killed me… and I don’t give a shit bout yao’s. I’m glad it’s gone.” He slurred, “Then Gilbert… I wanted to kill him. But i had no right, none rights because I hurt you. He didn't, you deserved better but... I never didn’t love you. I love you so much and it hurts and I want to hold you and c-carry you ‘cross the door again. Please… please just.. Just love me again… even though i don’t deserve it. Please don’t erase me” 

Matthew was choking back tears but he took a moment and let out a shuddering sigh “Come on Ivan… Let’s lay you down okay? “ He said voice unsteady as he helped the other to his feet. He even allowed the large crying man to lean on his shoulder. “We’ll lay you down and talk about it in the morning alright?” He soothed, opting to skip the couch… the kids didn’t need to see their father in such a state… 

They got to the bedroom and Matthew hesitated before laying Ivan down in the bed he’d had to himself for two years (save the odd nightmare fueled night for one of the children). He was about to turn and leave when a hand grabbed his wrist. He looked down at Ivan’s heart wrenching look, “Please Matvey… please just don’t leave…” 

Matthew clenched his jaw. Part of him felt anger… isn’t that what Matthew had said? Please don’t leave? And he still took that bag and left them didn’t he? For what? Morning would bring those answers.. For now.. “I’ll stay” He said gently and kindly, because in the end Matthew was nothing if not kind.. 

He climbed onto the bed, sitting up by the head of it and held Ivan’s hand while he settled to sleep. Matthew sighed and ran his hand through his own hair.. Not looking forward to the next morning… 

-

Matthew sat at the table with a cup of coffee, he was drinking thoughtfully in the quiet. The kids had already been up, but a quick call to Alfred asking a favour and they were out at uncle day leaving Matthew to deal with Ivan. 

He already spent his morning thinking, so when the Alpha finally woke and sheepishly emerged, Matthew simply looked up calmly. “There’s coffee and aspirin on the counter. Grab a cup and sit down please” he said softly. 

“Da… thank you…” Matthew watched in silence as he moved doing as he was told. Throwing the pills back and sitting with his mug. 

“So… how much do you remember?” Matthew started, hoping he hadn’t blacked out. 

“All of it” Ivan answered, eyes dropping to his cup in shame. 

“And how much did you mean?” Matthew countered. 

“… All of it...please don’t be upset, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said it…” Ivan said looking up with apology in his eyes. 

“But.. you did” Matthew answered with a sigh, a silent look that added the ‘and now we have to talk about it’

“I know… it was unfair. I just couldn’t stomach the thought of it… and it's not my business anymore.” Ivan said running a hand through his hair and frowning deeply. Matthew’s composure broke a little, scowling, 

“No it’s not. It’s not your business because you decided it wasn’t!” He insisted, voice firm “I wanted to work things out but instead you make me think it’s because you don’t love me.” His voice got thicker as his eyes stung “You waited two damn years and suddenly sprung it on me in the middle of the night! As if it wasn’t confusing enough”

“I’m sorry…” Ivan said quietly “I know I was the one who fucked up. I thought I had to, I’d hurt you, I’d marked someone else… I thought i needed to try and fix things and you deserved better.” He paused “No I know you deserved better and you still do.” He corrected “ But I couldn’t let go and Yao was miserable after a while. He was understanding at first… but you can only understand so long I guess.” He said with a shrug. “As soon as the kids went to bed during that week every three months I became moody because I knew I should have been here. I felt horrible leaving you alone and it felt unfair to go anywhere near Yao if I was leaving you to suffer alone. If I could go back, I would stay.” 

“But you didn’t…” Matthew said lamely. The lump in his throat rose again, eyes burning worse as he struggled to keep his breathing steady “I watched you sign the stupid papers and you barely looked phased!” 

“I was dying inside” Ivan countered, “It was the worst day I’ve lived through.” 

“Then why did you do it?!” Matthew exclaimed, getting further upset as tears ran down his cheeks,

“I’ve told you why…” Ivan reminded calmly

“No. Why did you go with him? If it was so p-painful.. If you loved me so much, why did you go into that stupid room in the first place! You could have dropped him at the door and turned to run, you could have waited for the Beta’s!” 

“You don’t think I know exactly what I could have done? I regret it. There’s nothing more I can say then how quickly I regretted it. He called for me and I was just-” 

“He called for you?” Matthew looked even further heart broken. For some reason it stung to think of someone else who had no right to calling out for his husband…

“Yes, Why else would I have caved?” 

“You never told me!” 

“You said you didn’t want details..” Ivan countered “You were crying and I couldn’t bare to… I couldn’t keep talking” 

Matthew frowned deeply and looked out towards the window. He had no idea what to say, how to feel…. But Ivan spoke again, a smaller voice that shook, “When are you getting it off?”

Matthew looked at Ivan, he looked so small, so scared… “I’m not.” He answered with a sigh, “I decided after my appointment I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t interested in Gilbert and I couldn’t-” He cut off with a choked sound. Trying again, “I couldn’t let go as easily as you seemed to” he finished with a tight jaw. “It wasn’t easy for me either” He choked, wiping away tears that escaped “I had to watch you walk away every heat, I had to fight my body screaming for you, I had to watch you with him and our children… it killed me… but removing the stupid thing wouldn’t stop it h-hurting” 

Ivan opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but all that came out was a sob of relief. He was shaking as he dropped his head into his hands. “I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry…” He said quietly, over and over. Matthew’s throat was so tight he couldn’t speak. He was so confused… what did this mean?! What was he suppose to do? He had no answers… 

“I think you should go…” He said quietly, but Ivan heard, head snapping up with an alarmed look. 

Matthew could see him force it back as he nodded and got up, “Do you want me to come back? F-For my weekend?” 

Matthew scowled and he could see the shattered look, hearing the catch of breath "Do you think I'm the kind of person to bar you from the kids because I'm mad at you?" He said harshly then sighed, "Just... stay away for the week. I need time to think” He added looking as gentle as he could. “I can’t think clearly with you around…”

Ivan nodded, “I’ll be here on Saturday morning… I can take them out for the day if you need more time” He said, his voice sounding somewhat hallow. 

“Thank you Ivan. That would be nice” Matthew admitted, having no clue how long this was going to take to think over...


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long because I've been really sick _and_ my confidence is shook XD I'm not sure how long the last chapter is gonna take, It's fighting me like mad... but hopefully it'll be done in a week or two depending on me getting better *still sick as a dog*

After Ivan left, Matthew was alone with his thoughts.

For about an hour at least, then his phone rang. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Mattie!” Alfred’s cheerful voice came over the phone, giggling excited children in the background, “We’re takin the kids to Chuckie Cheese for lunch, wanna come?!” he sounded almost more excited than the kids… 

“No thanks Al… I kind of have a headache” It wasn’t a lie, the crying and hormones set one off “Are you guys okay with them?” he asked to double check.

“Yeah we’re good” He said cheerfully “Just didn’t wanna leave you out. Take a nap or something and we’ll drop ‘em off after okay?’

“Okay, thanks Al.. you’re the best.”

“Duh, I’m the hero!” he said with a chuckle, “Talk to you soon!” 

“Okay, bye Al” Matthew hung up the phone and leaned forward into his hands. That would buy him another two hours to think.. But he was having trouble thinking at all with how his head pounded.. 

Finally he sighed, standing and moving down the hall. Maybe a nap was a good idea. 

He got to the bed, stripping down to a shirt and boxers and climbed in under the covers. He flipped onto his stomach, hugging the pillow to his face like usual when it hit him. The scent. He could smell vodka as well, but there was so much Ivan… 

It choked him up, causing his eyes to water and his chest to ache. He buried his face deeper in the pillow, surrounding himself with the smell, the safety… that safety he hadn’t let himself feel in so long… It was still tainted as a small fear reaction made its way into the air. 

What if, from all this, he let Ivan come back and he turned around and left again. Or worse, what if he didn’t want to come back at all. If Matthew made the offer to let him come home and he was shot down again. Could he deal with that? Could the kids deal with it if Ivan left? Was it all bullshit about Yao? 

No… It probably wasn’t bullshit. Ivan was never really a liar. He’d told Matthew right away when he’d cheated… but not only that, every time something had happened he’d owned up to it. They’d agreed right before they got married that they needed to be honest to a fault. They wanted their kids to know honesty.

Well.. except Matthew hadn’t told them their father was there before shipping them off with Al. He didn’t want to excite them… But they would be so excited wouldn’t they? If their mom and dad were together everything would be normal. They wouldn’t have to go back and forth, they’d have both parents. Matthew might even be able to work less to take care of them instead of daycare. He could have his little family back. 

If he didn’t try, and they found out later in life, would they blame him? Would Matthew blame himself? 

How would he feel if Ivan went on to mark another Omega again?

His chest was tight and he couldn’t help but wonder why it felt like he was being punished for something that wasn’t his fault… 

Eventually he fell asleep, soothed by the scent and only waking up to his cell phone going off to let him know Alfred was back with the kids, an ample distraction. 

His week was fine, blocking out thinking about it and focusing on his children and work. Running himself into exhaustion so he didn’t have to consider it.. By the time saturday morning rolled around, he’d only spared a few painful hours to think about everything. He’d gotten good at avoiding pain… but he still wasn’t good at confronting it. 

That’s why the knock at the front door wasn’t as warmly welcomed a reminder as he wished it was… 

“Hello Matvy” Ivan said sheepishly standing on his front step, no bag in hand. Honestly he was guessing most of Ivan’s stuff was in the car anyway since he’d been couch surfing for so long. Matthew wasn’t even sure who he’d being staying with honestly. Unbidden jealousy stirred for a moment, but he shook it off and smiled weakly, 

“Hey Ivan” He said looking a little worse for wear. Last night had been spent in the same internal battle. Putting off thinking about it so long had caused him to panic, which in turn caused it to be hard for him to fall asleep and when he finally did it was three in the morning..

The kids , who had gotten up at six like always, were in the living room in front of the TV. He’d just been too tired to do anything with them… “Can you help me get then ready? Then you can take them” He said stepping aside and letting the other in the house. It felt strange to let Ivan in. His feelings were still so raw, part of him wanting to make him wait outside, the other screaming that it just wanted him to be able to come in without invitation. 

“Of course.” He stepped inside and two children appeared, smiling brightly greeting their father. “My sisters are in town” He said simply with a small smile “They rented two connected hotel rooms and are letting me use one for the kids tonight. I thought if you wanted more time” He said with a small, sad smile. 

Matthew hugged himself and nodded “thank you. Come on guys, let’s go get you dressed so you can see Aunties Kat and Talia” he held out a hand, Aurora running and grabbing it while Alek drug his father to his bedroom, ready to get dressed and go. 

“Mommy?” Aurora asked as Matthew helped her into new clothes. “Do you not like Daddy?”

Matthew looked somewhat surprised at his daughter, “Of course I like Daddy hunny, why would you think I didn’t?” He asked slipping the shirt over her head

“You always look sad when he’s here” She observed putting a hand to Matthew’s face “you look really sad Today and yesterday, the day before too” She was frowning and Matthew mirrored it. He didn’t mean to let them know he was sad. 

“Come here” He said softly, sitting and pulling her into his lap, Aurora curling up easily and putting arms around Matthew’s neck “Your daddy and I still like each other, I promise.” He started gently “Sometimes Mommy just gets sad that you’re leaving, but today Mommy isn’t feeling too good.” He lied and immediately felt guilt. But she was too young for the truth.. At least the whole truth. “Mommy and Daddy had a little fight, but it’ll be fine. Just like you and Alek fight right?” 

Aurora nodded, “Was he mean? Did he push you like Alek does sometimes?” 

“You push too sometimes princess” Matthew chuckled, tapping her nose, “But no Daddy didn’t push me, and he wasn’t mean. It’s just something Mommy and Daddy have to work through. I promise it’ll all be okay.” he said hugging her closely 

“Okay Mommy” Aurora said hugging back. 

“Are you ready Rora?” Ivan said, walking in with Alek on his hip. She bounced up with a smile, but she stopped before reaching him

“Daddy” She said in a very serious tone for such a small child, obviously mirroring Matthew. “Fighting isn’t nice. You and Mommy need to hug and make up” She insisted. 

Ivan looked confused, Matthew looked embarrassed. “Matvey?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“She asked why I was sad, I just said we had a fight, but sweetie” He said standing up and walking over to crouch in front of her “I don’t think Mommy’s ready for hugs and making up just yet. I still need to think about everything. Just like when you’re on time out. Tomorrow I will okay?” one way or another...

Aurora looked put off for a moment, frowning. “Okay Mommy… but promise okay?”

“I promise sweetie” He said with a small smile, leaning forward to kiss Aurora’s forehead. “For now, move your butt, you have a fun day with Daddy!” He looked up at Ivan and smiled then stood and took Alek squeezing him and getting a laugh “and so do you~ should we get you in the car?” He breezed out of the room, the others following him. 

A quick round of goodbyes, avoiding the awkward feeling with Ivan, and they were gone off. Matthew went inside, sitting on the couch and took off his glasses. He sat back on the couch and ground his palms into his eyes. He needed to lay down… he spread out on the couch again and quickly fell asleep. 

Matthew dreamt of the past. He could see so clearly as he stood at the end of the isle, arm hooked around his father’s, all the people looking at him, but what he focused on was Ivan, the large Alpha with a bit of childhood roundness left in his face absolutely beaming at him as he drew closer. The rest the world fading away. 

The image changed, another bright smile, tears running down his face as he looked at their little girl. Ivan looked back over at him, face brimming with joy and love. He’d felt exhausted, and he was sure he looked a mess, but the way Ivan looked at him made him feel amazing. 

Even a switch to Matthew sitting, so tired with Alek in his arms in the middle of the night. He was nursing the baby, rocking and fighting to stay awake. Ivan came into the nursery, bringing him a glass of juice and some grapes. He remembered the tired grin as Ivan sat on the ground in front of them and quietly spoke with Matthew, looking at the pair of them so warmly. 

It shifted so fast… the deep shame, shaking hands and paleness as Ivan explained what had happened in a hollow voice. How destroyed he looked as Matthew cried. The look that had convinced Matthew they could fix it.

Matthew woke, chest tight struggling for breath, realizing quickly he was crying as he sat and curled in on himself. He was awake, but the memories didn’t stop playing… He continued to cry as he thought about a few days later. He woke to Ivan packing… 

“What are you doing?” He asked, rubbing his eye as he sat up.

“I’m packing my things” Ivan answered, no smile on his face for once. 

“Why?”

“I need to leave.” He said simply. Matthew had gotten out of bed, taking the shirt he was about to pick up. 

“Don’t.” He replied 

“I have to” Ivan said simply picking up another bunch of shirts.

“I want to work this out. I want to try and get past it” 

“...no” Ivan said without explanation. 

Matthew felt his blood run cold, “Why not?!” 

“I marked him” He said in the same hollow voice from the night before. 

“So?!” Matthew was getting desperate and emotional, tears stinging “You marked me too! Does that mean nothing?!” 

Ivan paused clenching his jaw. “I have to go” He said through his teeth. Matthew snapped. 

“Fine! Get out! Get the hell out of my house!” He yelled, throwing the shirt in his face, tears flowing freely. “You don’t give a shit so just leave already!” It felt like he was being stabbed. He could smell the intense distress in the room. Ivan quickly threw the last of his clothing in that damned black duffle bag and he turned. Matthew followed only to watch him walk out the door. 

He’d fallen to the floor sobbing… and it only took Alfred ten minutes to show up as Matthew fell apart. His brother had tucked him in, His new mate behind him to help with the babies, both staying in the living room for the next three days as Matthew’s world fell apart. 

It hadn’t been till months later did he even consider that the reason Alfred has shown up was because Ivan had called him. He’d never asked about it, or probed into it… 

He picked up his phone now and dialed his brother, breathing still shaking, but he needed to know… 

“Heya bro, what’s up?” 

“Alfie?” Matthew said in a small voice. 

“Whoa, what’s wrong?” 

“N-Nothing but Al… I need to ask you something.”

“Anything Mattie, just ask” 

“When Ivan left, he called and told you I needed you, didn’t he?”

“...yeah he did. Least he could have done” Alfred grumbled. 

“How did he sound when he called?” 

“Matt… that was over two years ago. What difference does it-”

“Please Al! You promised.” 

Alfred heaved a sigh, “I don’t know Mattie… He didn’t sound good” Alfred said, sounding exhausted himself. “To be honest, I had to ask him three times and I was scared you were in the hospital… He was blubbering so hard I just couldn’t understand him. Then he screamed at me told me to get my useless ass over to the house to help you.” Matthew sobbed, and nodded about to try and say thank you when Alfred continued. “He called later too. Checking to make sure I’d gone. Asking how you were. He stayed on the phone the whole time I yelled at him, he didn’t fight back, just kind of took it.” 

“Al...:” Matthew said between crying, 

“Don’t Al me… You were a mess! He just up and left after fucking around. I couldn’t just not yell at him. He’s lucky you told me not to do anything else” He grumbled. Then he sounded softer “Do I need to reconsider that now Mattie? What’s the matter?” 

Matthew broke, launching into the whole story, taking hard breaths in between sentences. Alfred listened, saying a word or two here and there and by the end, Matthew had stopped crying. His chest ached from the effort he’d just been using to breath, but he didn’t feel like he was dying anymore. 

"Mattie come on.. No don't do this again! He doesn't deserve it!" Alfred pleaded. 

Matthew cringed, "It's not like I thought I would ever even consider-"

"Then don't consider it!"

Matthew sighed, " Al, If it were Kiku... wouldn't you consider giving him another chance?" 

"Not if he took off with the other dude for two years!" Alfred protested. "I think I'd have more sense then that!"

"But you don't know if you would... I need you Alfred" He finally pulled out, "I need to know, no matter what I choose, that my brother is gonna be on my side..."

Alfred heaved a deep, annoyed sigh after a full minute of silence at the statement, “Okay, look Mattie… I’m never gonna trust him, and I doubt I’ll ever like him… but in the end this is your choice, and duh I'm gonna be there for you no matter what, even if I wanna ring your neck. Just know if you make the, in my opinion, stupid choice to kiss and make up” He said sounding a little grossed out by the last bit, “and he hurts you again, you won’t stop me” He warned. 

“Thanks Al” Matthew said quietly, taking the reassurance he needed..


	8. Chapter 8

It took Matthew the rest of the day to even come close to figuring out he couldn’t decide this alone… He’d wandered around the house, ate cereal, cried more… by the time eight pm came, he admitted defeat and called Ivan. 

“Hello?” Came a voice he hadn’t heard in awhile, and didn’t really want to hear right now. 

“Hello Natalia.” He said with a sigh. She’d made her dislike of him clear from day one… “Is Ivan there?” 

“He’s putting the children down to sleep” She informed briskly. “What do you want” 

“I’d like to talk to him” Matthew said patiently, 

he got silence for a moment before she spoke “I will let him know…” 

“Thank you” He said ready to hang up, but she started again

“Are you the reason he isn’t doing well. He will not tell me” She asked, sounding annoyed that she had to. 

Matthew saw no point in lying “Yes. Not that it’s intentional…” or really my fault...

She hummed shortly “At least it isn’t that other one then. I will tell him to call” She said hanging up. 

Matthew was left a little shocked. That was almost an endorsement as far as she was concerned… Not that he was going to put effort to fixing that relationship. Right now he had bigger ones to consider. 

Of course half an hour later he was beginning to wonder if she’d been lying. He’d also been getting progressively more upset feeling as if he was already being rejected. It was distressing how painful that thought was already… He kept trying to convince himself he hadn’t made a decision, that he couldn’t possibly know which way to go, and yet he found himself fighting anxiety of Ivan picking differently. Had he hurt him by taking so long? Or maybe he was just convinced Matthew would choose to distance himself more… 

He was chasing his thoughts in circles when his phone rang,

“Hello?” He answered in a small voice, having no clue what to expect after convincing himself of so many things already. 

“Hello,” Came Ivan’s cautious voice, “I was told you called.” 

“Yeah I did… can we talk?” Matthew asked, curling up on the couch and hugging his knees to himself. 

“Of course” Ivan said stiffly. 

“.. is it possible for you to come here and talk?” Matthew clarified. He needed to see Ivan’s face while they talked. He needed to be sure.

“One second” there was a muffled conversation through a hand, all in russian, then Ivan was back “Yes, Katyusha will watch the children. I will be there in ten minutes. Is that okay?” He asked, a slight waver in his voice. 

“Yeah, it’s fine… Just let yourself in” He added, not feeling like he could get up from the couch without shaking. And he wanted to watch Ivan walk through that front door on his own again. He needed to see it to know if he wanted it. 

“Alright, I will see you soon” Matthew said his goodbyes and hung up the phone. While he waited, he wrapped himself in a blanket, as if he could hide from the feelings that were brewing. 

He didn’t even flinch when he heard the click of the lock, but he did force himself to look, to imagine… how would it feel to have Ivan come home from work everyday? His breath caught as Ivan did walk through the door. He wasn’t empty handed either, a large bunch of red roses in his hand, the most nervous look on his face Matthew had seen since high school … 

“Hello” He said unsurely. Matthew was fixed, staring at the roses, not speaking… “I uh... “ He took a breath, “I needed to do this…” He said, face set, “I have been hiding and a coward.. And you could have already decided to tell me to go away, that you can’t but… I needed to try and I couldn’t leave it up to you to tell me you want to fix it this time in case you wanted to” He explained, slightly flustered. 

“Ivan I-”

“Wait, please… just let me… “ He took off his shoes and crossed the room, Matthew’s face matching the roses as Ivan sunk to his knees in front of him. The flowers went to the coffee table, Ivan’s hands uncertainly placed on the edge of the couch on either side of Matthew. “I love you” He started, “I haven’t not loved you once. I’m fairly certain you could have done anything in the last two years and it wouldn’t have changed that. But you’ve been graceful and sweet and kind and I do not know how. I have been anything but deserving of it and I am grateful.”

Matthew was unhideably shaking now… not scared, just hooked on the words, terrified as the foundation of his walls started to shake to dust. 

“I ask too much too often… I gave you nothing in return. I felt like you wanted nothing from me. Maybe I was wrong I am seeing now.” He said a tint of hope in his voice, but his eyes were brokenly pessimistic. “I want to try and apologize in the way you want me too. Not assume what is best for you. I have done a horrible job of it, and now I want to let you decide…. But I also want to ask for something more I do not deserve…” He paused and took a breath, “I want to come home…” 

Matthew was struggling to pull in breaths. His brain short wiring and his chest aching. 

“Can I come home, Matvey?” 

Matthew pulled the blanket closer, “Iv- I” He struggled, catching in sobs as he watch hope drain from the others face. He was choking on any sounds, so with blurred, tear filled eyes, and some horribly ugly sobs, he nodded, moving forward off the couch and practically throwing himself into the other. 

Ivan let out a puff of breath, arms wrapping around him and holding tight as he could without hurting Matthew. The Omega pressed his face against Ivan’s neck, taking in his scent greedily, shuddering as it turned to a calming one, “Y-You can’t l-leave again” He managed to force out. Gripping tight onto the other’s coat, “You can’t” He said weakly, “I c-can’t…” 

“I won’t” Ivan promised holding tighter, “I will stay as long as you want me” He promised in a strained emotionally wrecked voice. “I will do everything to make you feel safe again.” Matthew nodded and held tight working to calm himself from how upset he’d been

“Ivan…” Matthew said with a shudder as something dawned horribly on him as their clinging continued and it seemed his body wasn’t calming. 

“Yes Matvey?” He said as he nuzzled against the other's hair. 

“I’m… I think…” He blushed and hid against Ivan murmuring too quietly to be heard. Not that his voice was needed. His scent was catching up quick. Really quick. He was still suppose to be two weeks away from his next heat, but being so close to Ivan… 

“Oh… w-what do you want me to…?” He asked letting go and looking around in somewhat of a panic. 

“What I want you to do and what you should do are different” He groaned. Still hiding against the others chest. He wanted Ivan to bite him, claim him and spend the heat with him… but not only had they just fixed things up, he had no protection. 

“Right.” Ivan got up. Kissing Matthew on the forehead quickly. He ran into the kitchen and took a dusty key from on top of the fridge. It hadn’t been moved since he left. No Alpha in the house to lure him out, no need to lock the door from the outside. Ivan darted back and help him to his feet, “ Let us get you to y-your room” he stumbled out, pushing back his own reaction, though it was fairly obvious. Not that Matthew could blame him if he’d been without for so long...

However something about it didn’t sound right… He frowned and leaned into Ivan, he shivered again and hummed, then let himself give into it a bit. If he was going to try and fix things.. “Our room?” Matthew corrected quietly in question

This time he felt Ivan shudder, groaning softly then he felt lips on his hair “Da, our room.” 

They got to the door, Ivan opening it for him but reluctant to let him go. He swooped down kissing Matthew again, making the Omega’s head spin again as he clung, returning it until the Alpha pulled back far enough to murmur, voice strained in restraint, “Can I do one last thing before I lock you away for a week?” 

“Uh-huh…” Was all Matthew could manage at the moment, a second away from just yanking him in the room and throwing caution into the wind. 

“Can I bite you?” He said breathlessly, voice shaking slightly. The shake seemed to transfer to Matthew’s skin leaving him buzzing and his mark throbbing , 

“J-Just bite?” He double checked, already tilting his head, walls crumbled to nothingness. 

Ivan nodded, ducking his head down to hover over it, “Just once” He whispered, his lips brushing it ever so softly. Matthew’s knuckles white from clinging for support as his legs failed him. 

“Yes” He said quickly, “Please” He could make it through a heat without being terrified then maybe. 

Ivan hesitated for a second, seemingly building himself up to it before biting down with a growl that had Matthew gasping for air. His whole body sung as he pressed into Ivan’s chest, whimpering in a pleased way at the bite. He could feel tears at the corner of his eyes as he finally felt relief after two years of an unscratchable itch. “Ivan-I-love-you” He rushed out, yelping slightly as the bite hardened for a second then released, Ivan licking over the wound with a groan, 

“I love you too” He murmured, nuzzling softly. Such a contrast to the bite. “Get in… I need to lock you in before I can’t let go” He said sounding so reluctant. 

“Alright… Promise you’ll still be here when I come out?” Matthew asked nervously as his grip loosened. 

“Of course” He said gently, kissing the other's forehead “I would not dream of leaving again” Matthew hummed and went to let go to walk into the room, but Ivan held fast. 

“One more thing…” He said cheeks flushed, 

“Ivan I don’t know how much longer-”

“I know just… hold on tight” He warned before scooping Matthew up bridal style, kissing him softly “Is not the front door… but it will do” He said gently walking Matthew through the door and placing him down, racing, wonderfully aching heart and all as he watched his mate tear himself away, leaving the room, the sound of a lock clicking hitting him before he could even recover. 

All he could think in the moment of heady joy was that Ivan was home and even if he was going to be alone in this room… the house was going to be full again. 

 

 

 

**Epilouge**

 

“Ivan hurry up please” Matthew sighed as he walked quickly to the car, his mate hanging back by the office door, fishing for keys. “We can’t be late!”

“I know, I know… ah got them!” He pulled car keys out of his large pockets and jogged up behind Matthew, wrapping and arm around his waist and kissing his cheek “It will all be fine. You trust me, da?” He asked with a dopey smile. 

Matthew looked up at him, trying to look annoyed, but smiling as he shook his head and sigh “I do trust you. That’s why we have these appointments” He said in reference to the couples therapy they just left. “But trusting you to stay, and trusting you not to not make us late to pick up Alek’s cake are two different things” He said, reaching up on his tiptoes to kiss Ivan’s cheek. 

It had been a year since Ivan came home. The first few months they’d tried to fix it themselves, but Matthew’s insecurities and Ivan’s guilt were too much… However the pairs stubbornness wasn’t about to let that be the end. Couples therapy had been working wonders, and today Matthew finally felt secure in saying he completely trusted Ivan. It was the breakthrough they needed in order to move forward. 

Forward being marriage again. Though that was going to have to wait a few months. 

Though they’d been intimate outside of heats, the therapist had put the kibosh on heats together for the couple. All it took was one time not realizing Matthew was in preheat… 

“Is she doing okay in there?” Ivan asked softly, a hand on the growing bump. Only four months left until Matthew was done. 

“He’s doing just fine” Matthew said with a smile. “But he wants his brother to have cake so hurry up” Matthew scolded gently, pulling Ivan along. 

“Yes ma’am, wouldn’t want to upset her or her mommy” He cooed as they finally got to the car. Matthew rolled his eyes and got in. Ivan chuckled as he put on hsi seat belt and went to turn on the car. The Omega looked over and felt a sudden wash of emotion, 

“Wait” He said with a smile, leaning over and pulling Ivan close, resting his forehead against the others. He smiled, “I love you” He murmured quietly, enjoying the closeness. 

Ivan hummed, moving to kiss him softly murmuring “I love you too” He let it hang for a moment before speaking again “We’re really going to be late…” 

Matthew sighed and nodded, pulling back “Alright. But when we get home…” He trailed off

“I won’t let you go all night” Ivan promised cheerfully, kissing him swiftly before the pair left driving off together both smiling as they felt the dust of everything that had happened settling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize some of you were against this ending, but it is my story and the situation is a complicated one. I'm considering doing a kind of joking alt ending with some AmeCan incesty type stuff because it's funny how a few people wanted Matthew to run off with his brother.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! thank you for reading!


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